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Focus Focus Focus... Not my strong point. Instead I enjoy life regardless of my focus.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Sorry for the hold up!

Okay, so I am finally back and I think this time for good. The doctor is still running tests but it looks like there is a tumor which is at least operable (sp) if needed. We will know for sure as of Monday. Still, no signs of cancer really so I am trusting God that it is benign. Although as rough as life has been lately I am thinking that malignant is easier to deal with than a husband who hates every fiber of my being right now.

Kevin has been gone for going on the 4th week today. Every weekend was a flop at least half of it since he was gone. He or I one have been hurt or angry. He asked me a week ago why it is we bring out the worst in each other. WOW! Harsh I thought but I guess he has a right to his opinion. Still, that was the only sign he gave me that he was frustrated in some time.

Then, this weekend I went to my mom's where he has been staying during the week. At least coming home to for a couple hours a night. He is working 12 hour days most the time at the minimum 11. I hate that because he is setting a precendence that I can't live with when I get there, but I figure God has enough control over that I shouldn't worry that far into the future. Still, he says he only has 5 happy memories and we have been married 12 years. I am sure this is an attack from Satan and I know God has control, I also know we all have free will and I may never get him back. He says he doesn't want a divorce but how long can someone mistreat you before you wear thin in patience as well? I know 70x7 but I am not sure how well I do at this. I love him so much but I am so warn out. I will write more about this all tomorrow, but I wanted to get a head start on blogging again!

I am so tired but I thank God that I have him to take me through this and I will fervently be praying in the spirit till I can't anymore. :) Have a great Monday everyone!


  • At 8:49 AM, Blogger Dawn said…

    I came over here from your sister's, and I am so sorry!! I will pray as God reminds me. Please pray for my son, Kevin (another one) who is in the throes of big decisions. Thank you!


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