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Focus Focus Focus... Not my strong point. Instead I enjoy life regardless of my focus.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Wednesday

Don't you think everyone should wed on Wednesday? I mean it is in the middle of the week but it starts with WED! How much better does it get.

My husband is moving to a small town in a couple weeks to start a new job and he has to make a few decisions. He has to decide if he wants to spend his alst week at his old job or if he wants a fresh start after spending a week with the kids and I. This separation will last two years. The scariest part is that I am okay with it. I think depending on God completely and not on mad at all will be good for me, and I think that seeing myself do it without him will be equally as good. Even though I know too much independence makes me like him and that is something I don't want.

He got a job that is full of potential except it makes him unable to live with us and all the college days I had are a waste because there isn't anything close as far as work goes. Why am I doing it? I don't know I keep telling myself because God says I should support and submit to my husband but I think it is also because I need a break from him and all the trauma that seems to travel with him. I love him and asked him to for one thing and that was that he didn't tell anyone from his old wrok where he was going and he agreed, guess what? He told them all anyway. I am so sick of hurting this separation may be a sad break from him but it is a relief from the deceit that comes with him. He isn't able to tell me the truth I don't know what to think or how to care. I hope this isn't the beginning of the end, but God's will is going to prevail and I won't interupt.

Please pray for me and the kids I am a little scared and worn out as well I need to know that he is with me even though I feel all alone and I don't want to be in God's way so if I have to let him go to grow then such is such I can't hang on to a dead relationship anymore it is in God's hands and I am going to bed. AMEN!

4 Comments:

  • At 8:39 PM, Blogger sarah said…

    I'm glad to see that you're back! Sounds like we have a lot to be praying about on your behalf. I will pray that the Lord guides both you and your husband. May He give you wisdom and revelation. (Eph. 1:17)

     
  • At 1:30 PM, Blogger kpjara said…

    Still praying....

     
  • At 8:56 PM, Blogger tam said…

    oh praying for you too girl!

     
  • At 2:57 PM, Blogger great2beme said…

    Thanks guys! We need it. Things are already tense.

     

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