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Focus Focus Focus... Not my strong point. Instead I enjoy life regardless of my focus.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

It's the little things

The Lord has really been helping me to develop character and be thankful for the little things that are happening right now as I have said several times here lately (and no I am not repeating it to convinve myself, although I have done that before). I am amazed at the things taht have happened in the past few days since this came to light.
Sunday Kevin didn't want to go to church, but he said he would for me. I told his I wish he would go for god but just going was good enough for me. The Lord of course met him at the door. His favorite praise and worship team was singing, he was immediately more open to the day because of that. Then, he went to the alter and one of our elders went to pray with him, where he cried. God was definitely moving. I got on my knees at my seat and thanked God for every little thing. Later taht day when I asked he said he was glad he went but that nothing had changed for us. We were still not going to go anywhere in our relationship. The Holy Spirit reminded me it doesn't matter because even if you can't make it as a couple his relationship with Christ is the most important thing. Later that night he came and we finally began to talk, with weeping, affection and just honesty and love. (PTL!) I actually found myself grateful in the fact that although this whole thing he and done was wrong he wasn't physical with her and that mattered. (Trust me this is God because in my flesh I was not even okay with that) I an not saying it wasn't wrong just that the small things matter.

Monday was another day and he had gone all weekend without his work computer and (blackberry) connections I thought he would probably be getting moody and I was still scared about his contact, this girl after all works for him. Anyway, he kept talking and he said little things that gave me hope in him as well as the Lord. I knew the Lord was still growing that seed that he planted Sunday. He asked if I wanted to go to the store with him, he was kind, he was loving and of course gorgeous because when I see Christ in him he is awfully hard to resist. We spent more time throughout the day talking and crying and healing. (Beginning to heal we have a long way to go) When we got in the car to go to teh store there wasn't anymore discussions about how I can't or won't listen to "rock-n-roll" he found some of his favorite Christian CD's and played them. Then in the store I heard him humming some of those songs. I was so grateful to God again because this has been a major point of contention between us. Plus, I was remembering the man I fell in love with in everything he said and did. I told him Monday night to pray for me because accepting him going to work Tuesday would be painful, however, I reminded him it wasn't his job to get me through but that my security would come from the Lord. I asked him if he was going to tell me again in the morning like he has everyday since this started that he doesn't see any changes in us and he thinks it is hopeless although he is trying, he said no that he thought we are on the right path again and he felt good about it. He also, invited me to have lunch (YIPPEEE) see he told me when this began I could no longer come to his work it wasn't my place, so this was huge!!! I told him I would be honored, and on that we went to bed. (Another praise, I slept!!! I mean I really slept in the peace that God has been giving me it was great).

Tuesday he did take me to lunch, he then invited me to help him move into his new office, he told me he needed my help. (He hates that word, he says it is a four letter word) He came home and got me after work and we went back up there to get him organized like he wanted. He was so cute! I love how he looks at work. We had a great night only to be finished with a quiet time that he had earlier been reluctant to do. I couldn't believe it, he read the bible with me. The Lord is so good. Then, this morning for the first time in weeks he prayed with me, he didn't simply lay there and let me pray he actually started it and did it the way we always have before. It was incredible. I know we have a long way to go, but all of these little things I know will continue to add up to the big thing that brought us together in the beginning-- GOD! Also, back to our marriage! He had been calling me strike three (s3) to that girl and now he told her we are better and I am more like a homerun and he messed up, that they could no longer talk about anything other than business. Please continue to keep us in your prayers especially him because God needs to heal some old wounds in him so he can grow again.

So after all that let me say I actually have a point to all of this. We can be good in our spiritual walk or we can not be walking in the right spirit. If we aren't it will show and wear us down, eventually catching up to us. We can't have it both ways, it is God's way or not. This is the only area in life (I believe) that there is no gray it is black or white. If you are on a fence with a behavior, an attitude or choices bring it to God and he will carry you through and you will know his way is the only way! Keep praying but send up praises too!


  • At 8:40 AM, Blogger kpjara said…

    All I can say is PRAISE GOD!

  • At 10:23 AM, Blogger great2beme said…

    It is scary but I know the Lord is moving.

  • At 3:37 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    This site is one of the best I have ever seen, wish I had one like this.


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